Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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