I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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