Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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