he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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