tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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