i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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