it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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