I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Randomize
