i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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