I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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