I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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