Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
