2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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