I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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