yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
