I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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