I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
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