It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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