I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
