"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize