Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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