I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Randomize
