One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
