dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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