Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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