This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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