Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
i think my cat just said my name.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
