it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I was not drunk enough for that final.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
