Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
