We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.