now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
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I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
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Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism