Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
