i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
You left your phone here
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