I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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