Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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