He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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