I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
