You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
