I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
