Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
