i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
