TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
