Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
