Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
