Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize