I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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