Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Randomize
