if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
