Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
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I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
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