tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
