guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
