so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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