this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
