we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize