and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
