I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
