i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
