Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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