She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
