I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
