just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize