Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
