We're like a lot better than the average bears
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize