Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
